Let the Games Begin!

Summer always seemed so limitless and free with endless days of wonderful possibilities until boredom set in around August.  One way my sister L and I combated this boredom, with or without friends and relatives, was by playing board and card games.  Recall a time before the Wii or any other game station…forget about computer games and the myriad array of hand-held devices with their mind-numbing, colorful games (although I did own a super cool Merlin in the ‘70s).  I’m talking about good, old fashioned cardboard and plastic board and card games.  Let the games begin!

Every summer L and I would start it off by a marathon game of Monopoly which we began enthusiastically and abandoned before mid-July.  This pastime may have begun during one of the first rainy days when we couldn’t go to the pool or beach.  We loved that tradition until we hated it…or each other.

Stuck with only the two of us, we played all kinds of games: Uno, Bingo, Yahtzee, Trivial Pursuit, Life, Old Maid, Clue and the list goes on.  This resulted in hysterics or fights with the hurling of cards or game pieces or staring contests of more boredom when a game was played out.

We played Old Maid together, and I fervently hated losing that game! Being deemed the Old Maid was worse than any curse or insult shot at me because it meant I would end up old, ugly and alone.  In protest, I ripped up the poisonous card and shoved it between couch cushions.  Another time I hid the card (from a new pack), thereby deterring the game from reaching its conclusion and protecting us both from unmarried damnation. [Read more...]

Manicure In The Wild

The older woman looked down at my 5-year old while the Fashionista eyed the gentle crone. They sized each other up, realized they were kindred in spirits, and with me looking safely on, retreated to a back table. The woman laid out the paints – blue, green, yellow, pink, orange. The soon-to-be kindergartener eyed them before carefully choosing her favorites. As my daughter sat statuesque and still, the kind woman methodically began to paint. The manicure had begun.

What made this encounter unusual was the setting. This was no nail salon. It was not in a house or beauty parlor. It was at the Lewis Morris State Park. [Read more...]

It Must Be Me

Our family has been catching up with friends and acquaintances this summer. These are people we like and generally respect; however, I’m flummoxed by their responses to some of their children’s behavior and by what they ask their kids to do.

Case in point: Bob and Carol are lovely people whom we’ve known for many years. They have Little Timmy, age 7. The other day, Carol told me that their sweet little boy:

• Regularly strips down naked in the house and then jumps up and down on the couch in front of a curtainless window.
• Likes to pee on the front lawn at least once a week.
• Goes around the house and finishes all the half-full wine coolers he can find.

Carol thinks this is very funny; so funny, that she posts these stories on Facebook. Bob works late and, although he hears about these antics, isn’t around to correct them.

It must be me, because I find Little Timmy’s behavior disturbing. Since Timmy is 7, he should know better and if he does, he’s obviously not being appropriately corrected. I’m just thankful I’m not the neighbors.

Here’s something else I don’t understand:  Betty Sue is 11, a fine, sweet girl who lives a few houses down from me. I recently saw her strolling up the block carrying a 6-pack of beer. She was carrying it to another neighbor’s house where Mom and Dad were partying with friends on the front lawn. Apparently the party needed more alcohol and who better to fetch it than an 11 year old. [Read more...]

Hello Facebook, My Old Friend

Finally got around to watching The Social Network last weekend. While I don’t begin to take every word or plot point as completely factual, it seemed to contain enough documentation of certain events to convince me that a) Zuckerberg is (or was) a rather stunning genius/a*hole and b) he really did screw the Winkelvi even if he didn’t technically steal their idea. But what really struck me as I mulled over the story of Facebook’s inception was the sinister act perpetrated on the very generation it targeted as its initial demographic (as well as all the plugged-in-from-birth generations to follow): the criminal deconstruction of the meaning of friend.

When I went to college (back when all this was sand dunes!), I moved to a different state. I left behind a tight-knit group of girlfriends and moved into a dorm where I didn’t know a soul. I cried like a baby when my mom walked out of my new room and left me, for truly the first time in my life, alone. I was terrified. My friends, back home and off to their own distant college destinations, were technically just a phone call away; but of course we didn’t have cell phones then and long-distance on the hallway pay phone was too expensive. I didn’t have a laptop (not yet invented) to flip open and zap an email or IM to one of them. I had no choice but to suck it up and walk down the hall to say hello to strangers. Fast-forward a few weeks and those strangers were now new friends.

I drifted from some of my old friends, lost touch with a few of them completely. I changed colleges and created yet another family of friends before graduating and dashing off to ride the rails in Europe for a few months, collecting exotic new acquaintances like picture postcards. Then it was back to the States and the start of my life as a working girl (not that kind) where more strangers stepped up and applied for status as new BFFs.

[Read more...]

Top 10 Reasons Why I SUCK at Being a Mom… Sometimes

After two weeks from hell, including the sudden death of one of my closest friends from high school (Bill, may your soul rest in peace and may your spirit shine in the people who still love you here on earth), I am in a way sucky kind of mood.   On top of this, we have all been terribly sick, which caused me to miss the funeral services.

Barracuda Baby was the first to show signs of illness.  I have renamed her Typhoid Mary.  Sick for only one night with a fever, a line of victims lay in her wake. 

I got the flu the day after Typhoid Mary recovered.  I had a 102 fever for two days.   Still three days out from the beginning of my antibiotics, I carry the remnants of a sinus or more likely, head-cavity, infection.  The boys got sick two days after me, one with puking and the other without.  Both are almost better now.  My husband suffered for one afternoon of chills and fever, but remained virtually unscathed with the help of early antibiotic intervention.  Through all this, Typhoid Mary toddled her way around the house, demanding attention, as her victims writhed on the couch.

So, while putting her to bed last night, knowing full well that after caring all day for three kids (2 of whom were sick) that I would go straight to bed myself, I lay next to her and reflected upon the past couple of days.   And I thought about how I was snippy and annoyed and angry and upset and sad and how I am not the best mom at times.

So, here is it… my Top 10 Reasons Why I Suck at Being a Mom…Sometimes[Read more...]

Two Weeks Too Long

Some complain that summer vacation is too short.  The kids feel there’s not enough time to see friends and do what they want.  Many working parents justifiably feel that the Family Vacation, which they’ve waited all year for, is over in the blink of an eye.  But for those of us who don’t get any vacation, aka stay-at-home moms, summer vacation is just too long.

Now, I love my kids.  I cherish them and love spending time with them.  But this week has been really rough.  Many of my kids’ friends are on vacation, leaving my two pokey youngsters without playdates.   Add to that the rainy weather we had earlier in the week, plus a lack of the unlimited funds I’d need to take them all the expensive places they want to go, and you have one unhappy trio (mom + two wee folk).

We were fortunate to have our family vacation early in the season.  Jamaica!  Not Newark.  Jamaica!  My children seem to have forgotten about that.  We’ve also been away twice more this season, visiting friends and making our way to Hersheypark.  The kids remotely remember that.  They live in the here and now with the questions being, “What have you done for me lately?  What will you be doing for me in the next five minutes?”  My husband says they’re ungrateful.  I say they’re kids. [Read more...]

I Think I've Lost My Friend-Making Mojo

For as long as I can remember, I’ve loved having a varied group of people around me.  In fact, I’ve been called a “social butterfly” on more than one occasion since I was a little girl and, while this quality has been an asset in so many situations over the past couple of decades, I have realized since moving to New Jersey that it’s not as easy to make friends as an adult when you have to begin anew.

I was moving to a place where I knew not one soul (other than my parents), so, before I even arrived in the Garden State, I researched mom groups and other groups of interest where I might be able to regularly take part and meet other women.  After a time, I convinced myself that it wouldn’t hurt to meet a few men along the way, too.  It wouldn’t have to be anything serious, right?  So, I took to a couple of dating sites with nothing to be expected.  Just “getting out and meeting people.”

[Read more...]