Cinderella, Snow White, Mulan or Tiana?

When my husband and I began the adoption process we agreed to be open to a child of any race. I read the adoption magazines and books about being a trans racial family. I knew something that was important was that my child have toys/dolls that looked like him or her. This brought me back to my childhood issues with this.

As a brown haired, brown eyed girl in the 70′s I remember wondering why all the dolls and Disney princesses had blue eyes and blonde hair, with the exception of Snow White (Belle didn’t come out until I was an adult!). I distinctly remember feeling sad and left out when I couldn’t find a doll with my hair and eyes.

As I grew up and became an adult, it just annoyed me that that was the case.

At the start of our adoption process, in 2007, I assumed that this would no longer be the case with society’s understanding of diversity now. I didn’t buy any dolls since I didn’t know what race child we would have. [Read more...]

I Think I've Lost My Friend-Making Mojo

For as long as I can remember, I’ve loved having a varied group of people around me.  In fact, I’ve been called a “social butterfly” on more than one occasion since I was a little girl and, while this quality has been an asset in so many situations over the past couple of decades, I have realized since moving to New Jersey that it’s not as easy to make friends as an adult when you have to begin anew.

I was moving to a place where I knew not one soul (other than my parents), so, before I even arrived in the Garden State, I researched mom groups and other groups of interest where I might be able to regularly take part and meet other women.  After a time, I convinced myself that it wouldn’t hurt to meet a few men along the way, too.  It wouldn’t have to be anything serious, right?  So, I took to a couple of dating sites with nothing to be expected.  Just “getting out and meeting people.”

[Read more...]