Halloween is still about a week away, but I feel like I’ve had enough of what I am now officially calling New Halloween to last me a decade. When did Halloween get so ridiculously super-sized like everything else in modern life? I hate to think I’m old enough to be talking about the good ol’ days, but that’s how I feel when it comes to Halloween – oops, I mean New Halloween. Is it really too much to ask that my kids be able to just put on a costume (or not), pull out a pillowcase, and knock on the neighbors’ doors for some mass-produced candy? And by the way, any candy would be fine. It doesn’t need to be specially manufactured for New Halloween and emblazoned with orange pumpkins, black cats and green ghouls.
Halloween is no longer just the 31st of October, no New Halloween insists on taking over the entire month of October. And it needs to, or you wouldn’t be able to complete all of the activities required by New Halloween. First and foremost New Halloween requires a trip to a pumpkin patch, and if my friends’ photos on Facebook are any indication, dressing your baby up like a pumpkin for that trip is also a requirement.
Adherence to the rules of New Halloween also necessitates decorating your house with everything from giant inflatable black cats (with fangs!) to festive twinkling lights (in orange and black, of course) to funny scenes you produce of severed limbs peeking out playfully from hay bales (so clever). [Read more...]