Feelings…Nothing More Than Feelings

On the JerseyMomsBlog forum, I must make an announcement.  I’ve been diagnosed with a serious disorder, and I must disclose this horrible flaw in my character.  My husband, many friends, possibly relatives, neighbors and acquaintances may also share this imperfection of parenting.  Lean closer, and I’ll whisper it to you, “I have EDD…Empathy Deficit Disorder.”  And you may suffer from it, too.

Citing a definition found in the August 2010 South Jersey Mom, it states that Empathy Deficit Disorder (EDD), originally coined by Dr. Douglas LaBier, “is a chronic condition brought on by parents who don’t acknowledge a child’s feelings or, by their efforts, to diminish those feelings when they are expressed.”  Statements such as “stop crying” or “don’t worry about it” or “it’s not that big a deal” are a few of the supposed offenders.  Throughout the ages, parents have used several phrases like these to guide their children in understanding and not dwelling on their anxieties and disappointments.  Were they wrong? [Read more...]

Give Your Kids God

My dear friend Sue has a plaque that she keeps at her work station.  It reads “Attention everyone, this is God. I will be solving all of your problems today. I do not require your help.”

I find this notion extremely comforting. But don’t get me wrong – I don’t think God means for us to lay on our couches, pork rinds in one hand, a phone in the other, ordering up additional couches we don’t need from Pottery Barn while smirking “Get a loada this, one, Big Guy!” as we gaze heavenward and expect God to somehow pay our credit card bills and not make us obese with no action whatsoever on our parts.

But, I love the idea that there is something bigger than ourselves, some entity, in fact, with whom we can have a deep and personal connection.  I fervently believe in God, despite a number of people who tried to talk me out of it in the past years and  regardless of the fact that my best friend is currently an atheist. And I think that the belief in God, in a power that loves and forgives us unconditionally, becomes even more important when you become a parent. [Read more...]