A couple of weeks ago, we were alarmed to find out that my Mom had a melanoma in her left eye. Luckily it was caught very early and could be treated with radiation - radiation seeds to be implanted in her eye to be exact. The “seeds” would need to stay in her eye for 4 days, however,  which required a 4-night stay in Philadelphia.

Mom was not allowed to stay alone (all patients had to stay in a hotel due to insurance) so I did what any other daughter would do – I volunteered to stay with her for 3 days and 2 nights.

Sounds simple enough right?

Um, did I mention I have 4 boys ages 6 and under? Or that the  boys all attend different camps/schools and all have a different drop off/pick up time? Better yet, my husband had to be “in charge” while I was away and most times he can’t remember where I keep the twins pajamas (the pjs have been in the same drawer for 6 years btw).

I was a nervous wreck packing my bag while explaining to the twins that I had to go help Wawa with the boo-boo in her eye. I made a list for each child and left the house amidst tears (from my husband not the kids).

On the ride to my Mom’s house all I could think about was how everyone would survive without me. Would my husband remember that Jake likes chicken for lunch or to put Lucas’ lunch card in the right box at school? Would the twins remember to wear their blue t-shirt for the camp trip on Friday and to pack a water bottle? [Read more...]

It's so quiet in here

Before kids, I used to look forward to the weekends. Saturdays and Sundays consisted of sleeping (never up before 9am), cleaning, errands (i.e. shopping) and dinner out (sometimes lunch if I was able to muster up the energy to shower before 3pm). Throw in some weekends away to LBI or a rainy Sunday spent on the couch watching Lifetime movies and life was good. Come Monday it was a guarantee that I would be ”exhausted” from a  “busy” weekend.

That changed in June 2006 with the birth of my twins  M&J. The weeks and months following  the birth of a child is a blur and days and nights all blend together.  As a new parent, your main goal is sleep and/or a contented baby so you have no idea if it is Monday at noon or Saturday night at 11:30pm.

Slowly you come out of the newborn baby fog and life gets back to “normal” – work, daycare, playdates, etc. Weekends take on a whole new meaning, especially if you go back to a work. Saturday and Sunday are now spent catching up on cleaning, food shopping and the never-ending laundry. Let’s not forget sports and birthday parties and in the blink of an eye it’s Sunday night at 9pm.

The husband works most Saturdays so it is just me and the troops. Usually it is fine, if we have something planned or if my mom or aunt (or both) can come over to help out a little. However, there are times when it’s not so great (rain, snowstorm, miserable kid(s)) and in a sick twist of fate, I find myself not only counting down the hours until bedtime but also for work Monday morning.  This weekend was one of those weekends.

The husband was working and I was ALL alone (Mom had my niece’s dance recital and my aunt was at a baby shower). Yikes, 10+ hours with just me and the 4 boys - I needed a plan and fast.

The day started off pretty normal, breakfast, laundry, cleaning and yelling at the kids to stop fighting (all before 9:15am). A little after 10am, I announced that we would all be taking a trip to Target to buy my aunt a birthday present and that everyone had to get dressed. Easy enough right? Wrong!

The twins told me they didn’t “feel like” getting dressed,  J (the now 4yo) told me no thanks when I screamed suggested he use the potty for the 50th time and L was standing on the little wood table attempting to jump onto a bean bag chair. I took a deep breath and went to work on dressing J. I started off calm, offering him a choice between a shirt with a helicopter and one with a truck (his teachers and therapists are always telling me it is important to give him choices) and a pair of big boy underwear. He took each and threw it across the room yelling OH NO..NO THANKS!!

I tried reasoning, threatening and yelling but nothing worked. Before long, J was completely naked and hiding upstairs in his room.  Emotionally drained, I moved on to dressing L. He kicked the crap out of me when I changed his diaper and then and hid behind my new white curtains in the living room (with sticky hands). Ok, let’s try the twins, I stupidly thought.  M…J…upstais and get dressed I said with authority. Their response Why? followed by I’m tired, hungry, busy and don’t want to get dressed! 

How is this my life????!!!! All I want to do is go to Target!!!

I looked around and J was still naked, asking for red juice  and L was in the pantry (clad in a diaper and t-shirt) pulling out Cheese-its and lollipops. Nick Jr. blasted in the living room where the twins were sprawled out on the couch asking for drinks.

Suddenly something inside me snapped, I HAD to escape! It felt like the walls of my ”cozy” house were closing in on me. Where would I go? I couldn’t run away and leave the kids alone (though this thought ran ever so quickly through my mind). No I needed to hide but where??? [Read more...]

Dear Buddha B,

Well here I sit on what is almost the eve of your 4th birthday and I am just amazed at how much we have gone through but how it still seems like yesterday when the Nurse Eileen, in the Special Care Nursery, held you up for me to see and I exclaimed Oh my big buddha baby!!

You were the biggest (and cutest) baby in Special Care throughout your entire 5 night stay. First you breathed too fast, then you were yellow and then you were anemic – all things a post -partum mom, recovering from a c-section does not want to hear.

I was a nervous wreck when we brought you home. How would I manage 3 kids under 3 (little did I know what was in store for me) ?! I shouldn’t have worried, you fit right in,  although your start was a little bumpy.

You had a blood transfusion at 14 days old for your anemia.   Daddy and  I always said you were given “happy blood” because you were the happiest baby after the transfusion.  Around 6 weeks we entered the ”dark times” when you would cry for 2 hours straight every night beginning at 7pm. I would walk the neighborhood with you either in my arms or in a stroller and you screamed the entire time (Grandma is still scarred).

By the 12 week mark things settled down. Your dark hair fell out and made room for the lightest blond hair I had ever seen (especially since Mommy’s hair is so dark) and your eyes turned an icy shade of blue. I would just stare at you when you were sleeping and think Where did this blue-eyed buddha baby come from???

Strong -willed from the start, you never wanted to be a baby. No  you wanted to be 2 years old, like your brothers. No watching Elmo for Buddha, crawling at 6 months and walking at 10 months were on your agenda.

Things slowed down after your first birthday. You went on vacation and saw choo-choos close up and you tried with all your might to keep up with your brothers.  There was no fight you couldn’t hold your own in and no toy you weren’t able to get your hands on. [Read more...]