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Cinderella, Snow White, Mulan or Tiana?

July 5, 2011 By 3 Comments

When my husband and I began the adoption process we agreed to be open to a child of any race. I read the adoption magazines and books about being a trans racial family. I knew something that was important was that my child have toys/dolls that looked like him or her. This brought me back to my childhood issues with this.

As a brown haired, brown eyed girl in the 70′s I remember wondering why all the dolls and Disney princesses had blue eyes and blonde hair, with the exception of Snow White (Belle didn’t come out until I was an adult!). I distinctly remember feeling sad and left out when I couldn’t find a doll with my hair and eyes.

As I grew up and became an adult, it just annoyed me that that was the case.

At the start of our adoption process, in 2007, I assumed that this would no longer be the case with society’s understanding of diversity now. I didn’t buy any dolls since I didn’t know what race child we would have. [Read more...]

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If you can’t do it right….

June 24, 2011 By 5 Comments

Motherhood has a way of putting one in one’s place. Literally. I mean, some days, due to a nap schedule or potty training, I can’t leave my place, my house.

But, it puts one in one’s place in a metaphorical sense too.

Pre-motherhood, I was an honors history teacher. I loved it. No, seriously, LOVED it. I was one of those rare people who actually looked forward going to work.

I thrive on intellectual stimulation, loved teaching, loved researched, loved it all. When my daughter was born in March, I was convinced I’d make it as a stay at home mom until September, when she’d be 9 months. Then I’d need to go back to work. Not for the money, per se, but for my enjoyment of it. I couldn’t see myself devoting years to itsy-bitsy-spider and Gymboree, playdates and playgrounds.

Then, of course, I fell in love with my daughter. And couldn’t see someone else devoting years to her and itsy-bitsy and the playground, I wanted to be there for it all.  9 months of SAHM turned into a year, then 18 months….and now my daughter is a little past two and there’s no plan for me to go back any time soon.

Do I miss it? Yes, some days terribly so. Would I give up time with my little girl? No.

So, now that motherhood is my full time job, I’ve thrown myself into it. You see, all my life I’ve been a type A personality. [Read more...]

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Vacation?

May 31, 2011 By 2 Comments

My husband and I recently went on a cruise with our toddler, who just turned two. We had taken her on a cruise before, but when she was younger and pretty much just hung out with us and didn’t really have an opinion on anything. Husband and I looked at each other and declared that vacationing with little ones was not so bad, we scoffed at our friends with older children who told us how hard it could be.

Ha! Not us!

Yeah, well, turns out they were right!

Vacation with a two year old is pretty much just like being at home with a two year old, just with better scenery.

I didn’t know why I thought a cruise and the beautiful beaches of Bermuda would transform my moody two year old into a compliant little darling, after all, it always worked for me!

I have to say that Miss Lex DID enjoy the cruise and the beaches, but for mommy and daddy it was a very different cruise/vacation than we had ever been on.

So, for fellow travelers with toddlers this summer, here’s some things we learned: [Read more...]

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dopt-a-did

April 5, 2011 By Leave a Comment

While in the adoption journey and when Lexi was an infant, I was all optimistic and confident about being an adoptive mother. I read all the right books, read Adoption Families magazine cover to cover each month, attended classes, you name it, I did it.

I had all the adoption language down (place for adoption, not put up; adoption plan, not give up the baby, etc).

I told anyone who asked, and some who didn’t how important it was to be open about adoption right from the start.

I bought the kids books-”Tell me About the Night I was Born”, “Tell me about when I was adopted” and “How I was adopted” all geared to the preschool age explaining adoption.

I’ve been reading them to Lexi for about a year.

I occasionally throw in birthmom’s name, Sunarra (not her real name, I mean, I use the real name with Lexi, not here to protect her privacy), into conversation, “You were born in Massachusetts, Sunarra had you in Lowell and Mommy and Daddy got you at the hospital!”

and, “That’s Cambodia (looking at a map of Asia), where Sunarra is from!”

I didn’t really think any of it was sinking in. I thought, maybe when she’s late 3, maybe 4 she’d start asking questions.

I thought, that at just 2 years old, mommy and daddy were all she really processed yet.

About two weeks ago, out of the blue it seems, Lexi started bringing up adoption. [Read more...]

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M.O.M.

March 1, 2011 By Leave a Comment

M.O.M. = Moments of Motherhood

Moments of Motherhood that I never saw coming:

1. When your almost two year old refuses to let you go to the bathroom by yourself so follows you in there. And you have to change your pad and your toddler sees you doing so and says, “Mommy’s diaper!”

2. When your almost two year old learns how to unzip her coat, so going anywhere outside is a battle of :child unzips coat-mom rezips it while saying, “it’s cold, leave it zipped”-child unzips coat…..and repeat. Endlessly.

3. That your child will eat her way through the grocery store. Grapes in the produce aisle, a piece of cheese (or for my kid, pepperoni) at the deli counter, animal crackers in the cookie aisle, sips of juice from a pack of juice boxes in the cart, samples of whatever they are handing out. And then thinking, “hey, could this count as lunch…..?” and then thinking, “wait, does that make me a bad mom?”

4. Searching out every restaurant that has a “kids’ night” or “family night” in your area. And going to them. All of them. For the free kids’ meal and the balloons and the toy that’s handed out. And then calling that “entertainment.”

5. Actually truly enjoying the family nights at restaurants with your little one much more than you enjoyed expensive, frou frou dinners with a date. And feeling your heart warm at that thought.

6. That kid food could be so…..addictive. Mac ‘n Cheese, chicken nuggets, PB&J. When you eat the leftovers of your kids’ meals, doesn’t the taste just bring you back to your own childhood? [Read more...]

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What kind of mom?

February 2, 2011 By 6 Comments

I recently read that around two years old, toddlers go through a mini-regression phase. Well, right on schedule Miss Lex, almost 2, is there. Now why they do this is pretty fascinating. Their little toddler brains are just getting wired enough to process memories and they, for the first time, remember being a baby!

Whoa.

Can you imagine suddenly remembering stuff from your past, like waking up from amnesia?

Anyway, these baby memories have been there all along but their primitive baby brains haven’t been able to process them. Now they can. And as they remember being babies some toddlers want to recreate those feelings of being swaddled and held all the time-hence the regression. [Read more...]

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