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M.B. Sanok

About M.B. Sanok

M.B. Sanok works as a stay-at-home mom attempting housework in her book-cluttered home while holding court on the phone and volunteering for the International MOMS Club. Raised in a Northern New Jersey town, she relocated to South Jersey for love and has a beautiful, mildly autistic eight-year old daughter; a schmoozing, mischievous five-year old son; and occasional thoughts of a third. Her current mantra: So little time to achieve greatness when my life is tied to meeting buses.

Her accomplishments include being in the second grade reading class in the first grade, dressing up in full make-up as Ace Frehley from Kiss for her high school Lip Synch, writing horoscopes in college masked as one of the infamous Psycho Swamis, and, most recently, catching a fly ball with her butt at her first minor league baseball game. She started her writing career as a lowly reporter for her middle school newspaper, progressed to writing furiously in her journal and passing notes in class as a teenager, helming her college newspaper as a stressed out Editor-in-Chief, rejecting classified ads for massage parlors for a local newspaper and getting fired from her second publishing job for not remembering or knowing enough about the rival company’s secret website passwords.

MB loves reading, writing, puzzles, music, and her husband, her friends and family, and the awesome opportunity to write among such talented women on JerseyMomsBlog. She also writes for South Jersey Mom magazine and contributes to the International MOMS Club regional newsletter. Some of her blogs have .B. Sanok works as a stay-at-home mom attempting housework in her book-cluttered home while holding court on the phone and volunteering for the International MOMS Club. Raised in a Northern New Jersey town, she relocated to South Jersey for love and has a beautiful, mildly autistic eight-year old daughter; a schmoozing, mischievous five-year old son; and occasional thoughts of a third. Her current mantra: So little time to achieve greatness when my life is tied to meeting buses.

Her accomplishments include being in the second grade reading class in the first grade, dressing up in full make-up as Ace Frehley from Kiss for her high school Lip Synch, writing horoscopes in college masked as one of the infamous Psycho Swamis, and, most recently, catching a fly ball with her butt at her first minor league baseball game. She started her writing career as a lowly reporter for her middle school newspaper, progressed to writing furiously in her journal and passing notes in class as a teenager, helming her college newspaper as a stressed out Editor-in-Chief, rejecting classified ads for massage parlors for a local newspaper and getting fired from her second publishing job for not remembering or knowing enough about the rival company’s secret website passwords.

MB loves reading, writing, puzzles, music, and her husband, her friends and family, and the awesome opportunity to write among such talented women on JerseyMomsBlog. She also writes for South Jersey Mom magazine and contributes to the International MOMS Club regional newsletter. Some of her blogs have .B. Sanok works as a stay-at-home mom attempting housework in her book-cluttered home while holding court on the phone and volunteering for the International MOMS Club. Raised in a Northern New Jersey town, she relocated to South Jersey for love and has a beautiful, mildly autistic eight-year old daughter; a schmoozing, mischievous five-year old son; and occasional thoughts of a third. Her current mantra: So little time to achieve greatness when my life is tied to meeting buses.

Her accomplishments include being in the second grade reading class in the first grade, dressing up in full make-up as Ace Frehley from Kiss for her high school Lip Synch, writing horoscopes in college masked as one of the infamous Psycho Swamis, and, most recently, catching a fly ball with her butt at her first minor league baseball game. She started her writing career as a lowly reporter for her middle school newspaper, progressed to writing furiously in her journal and passing notes in class as a teenager, helming her college newspaper as a stressed out Editor-in-Chief, rejecting classified ads for massage parlors for a local newspaper and getting fired from her second publishing job for not remembering or knowing enough about the rival company’s secret website passwords.

MB loves reading, writing, puzzles, music, and her husband, her friends and family, and the awesome opportunity to write among such talented women on JerseyMomsBlog. She also writes for South Jersey Mom magazine and contributes to the International MOMS Club regional newsletter. Some of her blogs have appeared on the MetroKids MomSpeak website.

For Better or For Worse, My Breasts

May 17, 2012 By 5 Comments

My OB/GYN suggested that my mom get tested for the BRCA gene, and if they discover she carries it, I would get tested next.  If I tested positive, then I would need to consult with my doctor about what options would eliminate and/or lessen my risk for developing breast cancer.  Many of the options are gruesome, time-consuming, expensive or traumatic and add to my anxiety that I could either lose my breasts or face cancer.  After observing my mother suffering from and surviving breast cancer twice, I decided that if I contracted breast cancer I would simply endure a double mastectomy and get rid of the two time bombs hanging from my chest.  But now, presented with the possibility of this insidious gene, I’m worried about losing them.

When the suggestion was first made, I nodded my head and pretended I’d heed the doctor’s advice.  Being under 40, I was still considering thoughts of a third, so I dismissed undertaking such a test.  Besides, my mom was in her 40s when she had breast cancer – a few years of my third decade remained, so I felt temporarily safe.   I considered that the possibility of carrying the gene was low since none of the women on my mom’s side ever developed breast cancer even though a few never had children, smoked, drank and were overweight.  Her cousin, who shared double the DNA, since their mothers who were sisters married brothers, never developed it, either.

I sailed through the rest of the day, concerned about a rash my son had and looking forward to meeting with my book club.  When I thought about the testing, I casually considered the results without much emotion.  Big deal – a test cannot determine my fate! However, after other minor snafus took place, I erupted into cursing and tears, realizing a simple blood test could determine it.

[Read more...]

Filed Under: Awareness, M. B. Sanok, Mind-Body-Spirit

MB’s Five Mothering Bonuses

May 10, 2012 By Leave a Comment

From the time I played house with my dolls to the time I stared at two bright pink lines within a plastic pregnancy test, I knew I wanted to be a mom.  When you become a parent, you quickly learn that the expectations and fantasies you have don’t always reflect reality.  Sometimes, the reality appears bleak and endless, bringing you to tears and utter frustration; other times, the joy and fulfillment exceeds no other job in the world.  This is a tribute to those times…

1)      Distracts Me from Being So Self-Absorbed

I’m a worrier of the worst kind.  Although I do view worrying as advance preparation, it usually preoccupies my mind and sometimes hinders my progress.  I think about how I look, what I feel, if I made the right decision, about the silliest things.  Having two kids eclipses the inane worrying about how I look, what I said or what is that mysterious pain in my side to focusing on their concerns and needs.  When I worry about them, there’s not always time to worry about me.

And E’s birthday coincides with our wedding anniversary, so right there, we focus on her special day, instead of our own.

2)      Introduced Me to My Current Close Friends

Most of my current close friends came into my life through my kids, and I’m so grateful they were the impetuses for these friendships to blossom.  I lived far from my hometown and chose to be a stay-at-home mom, so I joined a moms’ organization to meet other moms. If I didn’t have my children, I may have missed out on these valuable friendships.  Through their extracurricular activities and various therapies, I’ve connected with people I’d never meet otherwise and made friends. Let’s face it – my children are my own personal social network.  Need a friend? Have a child. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Family, JerseyMomsBlog, M. B. Sanok

But Words Can Never Hurt Me

April 30, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Think of the times we make or hear comments without any filter.  You could be listening to a shock jock, watching a funny but irreverent movie or engaging in a candid conversation between friends or family.  It’s all good, you say.  And it’s merely for entertainment.  I totally agree.  I don’t like the idea of censorship or people who hide behind a politically correct curtain of words.  But when it comes to the words directly expressed by a teacher and her aides at a Cherry Hill, NJ, elementary school class of autistic kids, I find it just utterly inappropriate and downright disturbing.

What could make a supposed education professional and her assistants carelessly discuss drinking exploits and marital problems in front of students and allow and use derogatory comments against them?  It’s hard to believe someone who “knows better” could take leave of her senses and let this happen.  Was she still under the influence or did they just not think the students would notice or care? [Read more...]

Filed Under: Awareness, Education, Family, M. B. Sanok, Special Needs

Haircuts Come But Once a Year

April 26, 2012 By 3 Comments

Maybe I’m lazy; maybe I’m cheap, but I only get my hair cut once a year.  I never intended to make this a steadfast pattern — it just happened.  And it’s not that my hair resembles an untamed squirrel’s nest after said year – usually it grows out long and thick, naturally highlighted by the sun with a few covert strands of white and gray but unmanageable.  When I start using a scrunchie (oh, no! fashion faux pas!) in order to pull up my hair into a ballerina bun or ponytail; or when I go bohemian and pluck a once bright, now faded, bandanna to hold back my chestnut waves, I know I’ve reached my breaking point.

Usually, my once-a-year haircut falls around October, after a summer of stretching out scrunchies, breaking headbands, saturating my hair with sun, surf and chlorine and enduring split ends and sweaty strands glued to my cheeks.  After many personal consultations about my hair’s future, I’ll decide to wear it up all summer and chop it off come fall.

Without question or complaint, my husband B generously forks over the dough.  After a year, he probably enjoys the idea of greeting a “new” wife.  Even my mom will send an unsolicited check for hair rejuvenation.  I make an appointment at a nice salon and relish getting my hair washed with lush products I’d never purchase and pull off my glasses, awaiting my transformation.  Usually, I request a chin-length bob, and the hairdresser will grill me several times to make sure I won’t leap out of my chair in a panic over my lost locks.

Two months before I gave birth to my son J, who undoubtedly would pull hair and did, I voluntarily allowed a hairdresser to chop off 13 inches of hair.  Never before had I taken such extreme measures with my hair except when I streaked it with purple mascara.  The salon participated in the Locks for Love program which uses about three ponytails worth in each wig, and I loved the idea of my hair helping out a child with cancer or another detrimental disease.

The next year I visited a stylist who interrogated me several times before ascertaining that I definitely wanted a drastic haircut.  An extreme cut awarded me freedom and possibilities to be a new me again.  Liberated from excessive hair, I felt as daring as Madonna!

I also looked forward to another person scrubbing my hair and savored the unintentional head massage with sweet-smelling, luscious potions.  Since all the split and ragged ends were snipped, my hair appeared silkier and bouncier.  It alluringly swept across my neck, and a few salon staffers requested to touch my hair which seemed strangely flattering.

Managing my hair has always been difficult.  When I was a child, I hated when my mom would try to comb out my hair after washing it.  Pulling out the tangles tortured me, so she kept my hair short which looked ugly and boyish.  In the sixth grade, all my friends started using a curling iron, but I feared burning myself and managed the iron like I manage sports equipment – like I’m going to throttle someone rather than win the game. [Read more...]

Filed Under: "Un"Culture, Humor, M. B. Sanok, Mind-Body-Spirit

One Person’s Trash… Earth Day Tips

April 18, 2012 By 6 Comments

Wanna go green without going crazy? In honor of the upcoming Earth Day, I’ll share the one way I jump on the environmental bandwagon and do my part: thrifting. My husband B introduced me to thrifting where we troll the local Goodwills and thrift stores on a green treasure hunt for forgotten goodies.  It’s the old school version of Craig’s List and Ebay online hunting and an alternative to visiting good old garage sales.

Coming from Depression-era raised parents who save and reuse everything, I was never unfamiliar with the concept of reuse-reduce-recycle.  As a child, we recycled long before the trend.  My parents weren’t “cool” hippie types – they just didn’t grow up with tons of toys, food and clothing, so they kept everything.  After Easter my mom sent me home with leftover fruit salad in an ancient jelly jar.  Before recycling it, I wondered if I should call her to make sure she didn’t want the jar back.

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Filed Under: "Un"Culture, M. B. Sanok

Togetherness — It’s What’s For Dinner!

April 5, 2012 By 2 Comments

Do you make an effort to eat dinner as a family? I take for granted that we do each night.  Both my husband B and I grew up eating with our parents and siblings almost every night even if it was frozen pizza or sandwiches.  Now we do the same with our kids.  If one of us has something planned that evening like sports practices, doctor’s appointments, or late meetings, we still try to eat together, whether we schedule the meal for earlier or later than usual.  We’re so accustomed to this togetherness that it feels somewhat lonely and awkward to imagine dinner without the four of us arranged around our kitchen table.

Currently, many articles populate the media about how vital this relatively short time is for building stability within families.  Family dinners benefit children in ways beyond good nutrition and polite table manners.  It doesn’t matter if it’s the same time at night, same type of food or whether your family is a single-parent, nuclear, same-sex or extended configuration – it just matters that you squeeze out the time to be together.  According to a Time magazine article, researchers say having family dinners decreases the time kids get into trouble by reducing unsupervised time.  It also points out that when children help prepare the food; they are more likely to eat it.

Sometimes, my kids set the table which teaches them where to place the utensils.  In small increments, they help B prepare the food by finding ingredients in the kitchen and pantry.  I’m on salad duty and will perform small tasks as needed.  If they express curiosity while he’s cooking, he’ll explain what he’s doing.  After dinner, they scrape their dishes and bring the plates, glasses and utensils to the sink.

Eating with the kids enables us to monitor what they eat, how much and what they like and dislike.  We try to encourage them to try a new vegetable or dish if there is one.  I stole this trick from a friend – request they kiss the objectionable food.  Sometimes, it evolves into actually tasting the item.  Other times, the gentle suggestion stirs up a grand, stubborn refusal.  We never use the promised membership of the Clean Plate Club as a perk for finishing their food – as long as they eat a decent amount and try something new we’re satisfied. [Read more...]

Filed Under: "Un"Culture, Family, M. B. Sanok

Take Advantage of Volunteering

March 23, 2012 By 1 Comment

There I sat, six years ago, in a noisy TGIFriday’s with a bunch of moms.  As I delved into a chocolate dessert, the other MOMS Club moms started discussing how they needed a new club Secretary and couldn’t find anyone.  A woman in my playgroup giggled and overtly pointed to me.  Earnestly, they asked if I would volunteer.  So began my new life as a MOMS Club volunteer — all because a new friend suggested me.  Volunteering would unearth stashed away aspirations and introduce me to new ones.

After joining (and fleeing) a way too religious moms’ organization, bidding a sad farewell to my neighbor/friend who moved away and discovering my daughter E had autism, I broke down, reached into my purse for a wrinkled, lint-coated slip of paper and joined MOMS.  Since then I made many friends, grew out of my reclusive ways and refreshed and developed my job skills.  Giving back to the wonderful outlet that offered me so much support and friendship was a priority.  Writing the newsletter inspired me to express myself on paper and the cyber waves of grain, but I wanted to personally help other moms in the organization, so I volunteered to review chapter websites and then graduated to overseeing chapters.  Stay-at-home moms can flourish in their role with the support and camaraderie of a club like MOMS, especially if they move to a new, unfamiliar area; do not have a strong support network of friends, neighbors and relatives; and need a reason beyond grocery shopping to leave the house.

As Secretary, I attended meetings, took minutes, maintained the roster; wrote, edited and compiled the newsletter.  Since I really wanted to take charge of it, I’d secretly hoped that there’d be no takers for this position.  Back in college, I’d been an editor for the school newspaper and felt I’d been handed a golden opportunity.  Following the website reviewing position, I advised several chapters on legal, financial and human resource-type issues by referring to the parent organization’s by-laws and my own chapter experiences.  Sometimes, the presidents would need someone outside of their club to discuss their chapter issues with – issues could be controversial or difficult to resolve, and I tried to act like a friend as well as adviser.  I felt so elated when I really helped someone like finding a lonely mom a local chapter or clicked with a new mom who could become a friend or even future colleague; in turn, I felt so utterly awful when I either couldn’t help or had to lay down the law and disappoint or anger the chapter in question. [Read more...]

Filed Under: "Un"Culture, Awareness, M. B. Sanok, Mind-Body-Spirit

When Non-Irish Eyes Are Smiling

March 14, 2012 By Leave a Comment

My daughter E wanted to hang a green shamrock on the front door for St. Patrick’s Day.  Since we are not the least bit Irish (I’m 100% Polish; my husband B is ¾ German; ¼ Slovakian), I never bothered to hang one.  When March arrives, I usually search for spring or Easter-themed decorations and enjoy the brightly colored flowers and happy, hopping bunnies.  However, E kept insisting we needed a shamrock – she’s very keen on holiday decorations, so B brought one home.  “It’s for the kids!” he responded with child-like enthusiasm to my blank expression.  It didn’t bother me to decorate for St. Patrick’s Day or that money was spent on a sparkly, Kelly green shamrock – it just never occurred to me that the kids may want to celebrate even though we don’t have Irish blood running through our veins.

Come to think of it…they’ve expressed interest in Cinco de Mayo and Chinese New Year, too.  They both love examining maps and figuring out where countries are in relation to America and New Jersey. How ridiculous for me not to encourage the kids’ interest in other cultures and taking advantage of what people call a “teaching moment.”

Both my parents’ relatives emigrated from Poland back in the early 1900s, and my mom grew up in a household where Polish was spoken by the grandparents who raised her.  She knew all the traditions, a few Polish expressions and occasionally cooked traditional Polish food.  My maiden name which I write under is a town in southern Poland, and I’ve joked that I’m descended from a Polish line of royalty.

When I was a child, I remember foolishly telling my mom that I wished I were Irish.  She looked at me like I’d slapped her and told me never to be ashamed of my heritage.  Ironically, I was surprised when I found out I wasn’t Irish.  I grew up surrounded in Irish culture, spending time with my half-Irish cousins in an area where several families claimed Irish ancestry including most of the friends I made.  Most of my parents’ close friends were Irish, and my mom always cooked a traditional Irish dinner on St. Patrick’s Day of corned beef, boiled potatoes, cabbage and carrots.  A loaf of Irish soda bread, baked homemade, sat on the counter, ready to be eaten.  I simply assumed we were somehow Irish.

[Read more...]

Filed Under: "Un"Culture, Awareness, Education, Family, Holidays, M. B. Sanok, Mind-Body-Spirit

Spring Training

March 2, 2012 By 1 Comment

Spring has almost sprung, and we’ve decided to stay home.  Now that wrestling and football are over, my son J will take a break from organized sports until August.  For the past few years, J played T-ball and soccer during the spring to keep him busy.  Since he expressed little interest in learning to really play baseball, i.e., catching the ball and hitting a ball pitched to him instead of hitting it off a tee, we’re not pursuing any spring activities for him beyond CCD.

Many times, I wonder if we’re displaying good judgment in letting J run free.  Shouldn’t he be kept on a schedule for the entire year? We really didn’t see the point, especially since the weather will get warmer and the prospect of the outdoors more alluring.

Several of his friends will participate in T-ball, but we’re around the corner from the main field and can easily catch a game.  For J, T-ball was merely a social occasion to goof off with other kids and see his friends from school.  He liked wearing the hat, swinging the bat which we feared he’d use as a weapon, and the possibility of a treat from the snack bar.

When J didn’t even blink after informing him that he wouldn’t be playing T-ball, I knew we did the right thing.  It wasn’t the money – it was the time, commitment and J’s current disinterest.

Many reasons arose in supporting our decision.  He needed to learn how to tie his shoes which we neglected to explain, practice and review.  Over Labor Day weekend last year, he learned to ride a two-wheeler and neglected to practice.  School, sports, and the end of Daylight Savings interrupted the time when he could.  Our family room needs desperate attention, and my husband B wants the time and tax return to put in hardwood flooring (don’t get excited…it’s the kind you snap together), paint the room, buy a modern TV that doesn’t cut off the picture and replace our sagging futon couch which we uncomfortably slept on in the early days of cohabitation.

Although J absolutely loved participating,  the intensity of twice-a-week strenuous practices, weekend games and/or matches for football and wrestling that began bright and early and required a more strict commitment, kept him busy and tired.  He needs a spring break. [Read more...]

Filed Under: "Un"Culture, Family, M. B. Sanok, Mind-Body-Spirit, Sports

Updating My Stay-at-Home Mom Status

February 24, 2012 By 13 Comments

I’m bored.  Flat out, no holds barred bored.  I’m tired of the daily doldrums, let alone the winter ones, which constitute my life.  Although I knew this day would come, I’m still surprised that I feel this way.  From the time my husband B and I discussed our future together which most definitely included children, I knew I wanted to raise them full-time. After working full-time for 17 years, my mom stayed at home with my sister and me until I was around 11.  I intended to follow in her footsteps.

I speculated about having a third child (see “Occasional Thoughts of a Third”) and decided against it after a great deal of soul-searching.  I’m 40 now, afraid of the heightened autism risk and am far enough away from the working world that I’m worried I’ll never return.  Don’t feel insulted if you’re over 40 and just starting a family – I never formulated a career before I gave birth to my daughter E at 30, and I’m the product of older parents (mom, almost 35; dad, almost 42 upon my birth).  If my career ever ignited, I’d probably have started my family later, but I ended up having E smack dab in the middle of the mothering years, slightly older than the average first-time mom. [Read more...]

Filed Under: "Un"Culture, Family, Humor, M. B. Sanok, Mind-Body-Spirit, Work-Money
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