I see you. I do. I know that you went through a lot. More than any sweet innocent child should. The unpredictable nature of your surroundings made you feel unsteady on your own two feet. It was easier to try and not be seen. It was with weight. It was with anxiety. But what have you gained from it all? All this hurt and anger that you have bound up inside had you bullying those you love the most, including me. Every time I feel that greatness swell up inside of me and I am ready to fly, you drag me down. You point out every blemish and unsightly spot until I no longer see any beauty. This needs to stop. Now.
You were such a bright child. A shining and beautiful star – I still am. You don’t need to be afraid anymore, you are safe. We are strong enough to handle whatever may come our way.
I’m sorry for your pain, but it’s time to let it go. I am in control now, not in a manipulating and twisted way, but driven by pure love.
You only wanted someone to love you and sincerely tell you that it would be all right.
The truth is that we don’t know what will happen. I cannot promise you that there will be no pain or loss because there will be. Life is hard. But it is also amazing and beautiful and when you let go and live the day, moment by moment. It is in these moments that the purest form of joy is yours for the taking. Do not be afraid to live it.
I’m deeply sorry that I have not acknowledged you for so long. Your outbursts of protection have taken me by surprise so many times. But I do need you. I do love you. I walk with your adventure in my heart. I see the world with your loving curiosity. No more fear. It is with you that I can see eye to eye with my children, placing their precious hearts and souls as priority. The gift that presents itself in my life with their presence is truly the greatest form of love that I have ever known.
There is too much at stake for me, for us, now. We are one. We deserve it all. I will live with passion and speak from the highest mountain, stretching my message to all that can hear. I will no longer be afraid to fall, but be inspired to fly.
Gina Wieboldt is a full on- lifelong Jersey Girl. You can find her on the beach with the kids or working at her favorite local health food store. Health and wellness became her primary focus and she attended the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. She is now a Certified Health Coach, Healthy Living Warrior and wants every woman to find that inner beauty and balance that is their right.
You can find her blogging and coaching women one-on-one at Jersey Girl Organic.