I remember watching “The Baby Story” every single day during my first pregnancy. I memorized the book “What to Expect When You Are Expecting”, and pretty much every pregnancy book out there at the time. I even had a book on making my own baby food from scratch. I had a birth plan: No drugs, husband coached. I was so completely ready for what was to happen.
Until I wasn’t.
From the moment the real hard labor pains began, I cried for an epidural. The anesthesiologist came and it was wonderful. I thought I wanted a quiet, meditative birth room. Nope. The Ellen Show was on and I giggled between pushes. I remember that Tom Hanks was her guest. So indeed, I like to say that Ellen and Tom were present for the birth of my daughter. My baby wouldn’t nurse and just wanted to sleep. That became a stressful thing, and pretty much no one else could help me unless I let every nurse in the Labor and Delivery floor manhandle my very swollen girls.
This delivery thing wasn’t what I planned, but it turned out OK. When we arrived home I learned quite a bit and it can be summed up by this:
Let sleeping dogs lie: My own Mom taught me this one. Don’t wake that baby who’s sleeping through the night or napping. Enjoy the silence. That little bugger will let you know if she’s hungry or has something for you to change.
Don’t cry over spilled milk: This one is for the sleepy, cranky and most likely hormonal new mother. When you find a mess on the floor, laugh and enlist your partner to help clean it up. Whether it’s spilled rice cereal or cheerios all over the floor (you will find these for years once the toddlers stop eating them). However, if it is pumped breast milk, i.e. liquid gold, save as much as you can. Proper milk storage means that you might get a date out with the husband soon.
A fish out of water: Those newborns are slippery little suckers when you give them a bath. Have more than one dry towel handy. Be prepared to get soaked yourself.
All things must pass: You will become intimate with every poop your child makes. Seriously. You will be obsessed over color, texture and smell.
Between a rock and hard place: That damn binkie will fall between the crib and wall, or get sucked under the carseat at the most inopportune times. You are a superhero and will be able to reach it no matter how small the crevice is that it’s wedged into.
Cloak and dagger: There will be a time that the sweet baby is playing so nicely in the crib with his feet after a nap and you will duck and slide in to the bathroom , so as not to be seen, just to get a quick pee in alone.
Neither here nor there: That cute little blankie toy, the only one your sweet child will fall asleep with, has gone missing. You will get back in the car and retrace your steps, holding back the tears as you ask every store clerk and doctors office assistant if they saw it when you were there that day.
Never look a gift horse in the mouth: When people offer to babysit, accept and immediately pencil them in for specific time and date.
Out of sight, out of mind: I call bull on this one. When you and your partner finally get out for an adult only date night, all you will do is talk about your baby/kids. Truth. Mine are now 8 and 10 years old and we still do.
Life’s too short: Enjoy every blessed moment, because life truly moves in the blink of an eye. Life is beautiful and it’s an amazing adventure to be here.
Enjoy this adventure!
This is an original post for JerseyMomsBlog by Gina Wieboldt, a lifelong Jersey Girl and Health Coach who can also be found at www.jerseygirlorganic.com dishing about healthy and happy living.