I’m on my way to San Francisco for a memorial service. It is impossible to describe the state of shock I have been in since learning of a dear friend’s sudden death. I sat in the airport for hours before takeoff on Saturday with Whitney Houston’s funeral broadcasting on every screen in sight. I sat alone, silent, listening to the famous friends, family, and preachers hailing her brilliance, her magic, her grace. I closed my eyes and let the gospel songs wash over me as I thought of my own friend—as vibrant, popular, and magnetic within our crowd as Whitney was in hers—lost so abruptly and much too soon.
Unlike Whitney, however, my friend’s memorial service (to paraphrase an outspoken social justice warrior like him) will not be televised. His name was Grif Fariello. He was a writer, a rascal, a raconteur, a crusader, a flirt, a rabble-rouser, a stalwart, a peacenik, a brilliant mind, a romantic, and a gentleman. I can hardly imagine a world without his great guffaw and the devotion he gave to his girlfriend of 12 years, one of my best friends on this earth.
This post is a short farewell to Grif. I hardly feel I have the words to do him justice. It wasn’t long ago that our group lost another of our shining stars, which I wrote about here. When I touch down on the ground—the hallowed soil of the Bay Area that still holds my spirit so firmly in its grip—I may very well sink to my knees to bid them both goodbye in the place that brought us together. Then I’ll journey on to where our family of friends will be gathered and do the only thing left to do … remember, and laugh, and give thanks for having known him.
This is an original JerseyMomsBlog post.
I believe your words have done your friend justice…I wish I had known him, too. Wishing you peace and comfort in your memories.
Deanna,
Ripping me heart with these beautiful words. Came across this by accident and glad I did.
danny
Thank you for sharing your post. Grif was a dear friend of mine, he managed the SF apartment building I lived in and made it the best place to live. He was an amazing person and will be greatly missed. I will remember him smiling and always happy.
Beautiful, Deanna! Couldn’t be said better. Wish I’d been able to join you all.
Deanna – what a beautiful tribute to Grif. I was thinking about you all this weekend. I can’t even imagine what Beth is going through right now – she’s lucky to have you as a friend. xoxo
I attended a funeral today for my dear uncle. As I threw out my contact lenses that were dried out from all my tears I am comforted by all the love that surrounded me these past two days. I wouldn’t want to have had to share such a profound private moment with the world on tv. Although he sure had the celebrity treatment as the line of family and friends wrapped around the block for more than three hours for people who came to say their final goodbye. It was a sad yet joyous and beautiful celebration.
Deanna, I’m not sure what to say now, but I want to let you know that I am thinking of you and your “group” today. Thanks for sharing this story.
He didn’t have two coins to rub together. But after seeing 120 people on Sunday come together on 2 days notice to witness their love of my brother; I knew he was a very rich man.
Thanks for expressing your heart. I do understand and often think about those who are unsung heros in the heart of a few. No, they never have the channels stop for the broadcast of their homegoing but they have those whose life they have touched stop to show their love and carry on their legacies.
I recently lost my mom and was amazed at how many cherish her jokes, kindness and love. She took sooo many children to Sunday school. Yet, she was not a celebrity by the worlds standard.
Your friend made a difference,unrecorded, yet words are written on the hearts of those who loved him or affected by his purpose. Continue, we must, to never forget and always remind others of their missions and love.
Forever in our hearts they will lay in our hearts.
A beautiful post…I’m sorry for your loss.