We had to say good-bye eleven days ago. We’re sorry, please know that. We are tired, though. So is your mommy.
Your mom, she loves you very much.
She prays you don’t end up with PTSD as you experience withdrawal symptoms. It’s been 18 and 1/2 months (who’s counting?) and your mom told us she was exhausted and cranky and wanted her body back.
Lovely Barracuda Baby, you are the youngest. You don’t understand, at least at this tender age, that your mom has been pregnant and/or nursing for the past 8 years (coupled with a miscarriage and a few months of reprieve). A total of 5 years breastfeeding; that’s 1/20th of a century. (Maybe your mom may end up with PTSD.)
Your oldest brother will be 7 this September and he nursed for a very long time. He, like you, was a born nurser, a “barracuda.” Both of you came out of the womb with eyes and mouth wide open, ready to attach. There was no stopping either one of you and be as it may, neither one of you stopped on your own.
On January 21, 2007 your mom went cold-turkey with your brother, just like you this July 3rd. Cold turkey because there was no other option. You demanded nursing in the wee hours of the night and early morning. You demanded boobie while mommy was on the phone, typing on the computer, reading to your brothers or talking to daddy.
Your mom was going loco in the membrane. Sleep deprivation does that to you. You don’t understand this now, but we hope you will when you are older and more empathetic.
Your other brother, however, was much more tolerant as mom switched from boob to yogurt. Already pregnant with you, your mom couldn’t handle your first trimester and breastfeeding. Yes, the moms at La Leche would be disappointed because it is possible to be pregnant and nurse at the same time. However, your mom isn’t her best when her hormones are raging. Thank goodness middle brother was like a middle child, laid back and easy-going, even with this transition.
We do appreciate your fond and deep attachment to us. We find it cute this past week, as you try to lift mommy’s shirt and whisper in your little voice, “Boobies.” The little grin you flash your mom melts our mammary glands. Honestly, you are the cutest baby in the world, and damn persistent.
So, Barracuda Baby, please know we love you. We have only said good-bye because we are tired, not because we love you any less.
Your mom, too, loves you very much. More than all the boobie milk in the world!
This is an original post for Jersey Moms Blog by Brenda Milouchev, a New Jersey mom.
Photo credit given to Barracuda Baby’s big brother.