If you’ve been with Jersey Moms Blog from the beginning, you may have caught the posts last summer and fall on my struggle to get pregnant. In a nutshell, after almost 2 years of constant early miscarriages, my husband and I chose to do IVF with genetic testing. We ventured on this path after finding out that there was a chromosomal disorder that was standing in the way of conceiving our second child.
Finally, I was pregnant. And, the pregnancy was, I am very happy to say, uneventful, so there really wasn’t much to write about. I did have a little bit of a surprise at the end, which I wrote about here. But now, I am pleased to announce that my little girl is here! All 6 lbs 15 oz. of her!
I’ve happily jumped right into the mother of a newborn role – the late night feedings (actually the all day round the clock feedings), the recovery from birth, and the-I-forgot-how-much-breastfeeding-can-be-uncomfortable-at-the-beginning. And, I forgot how just climbing stairs is a major triumph those first days home from the hospital. It’s all still so new that I’m not even cleared to drive yet.
I’m enjoying every little bit of it, even more so, because I’m finished having children. Getting through the miscarriages and the fertility treatments was a mental and physical strain, but I survived!
We were so lucky to conceive our little girl – she was one of 15 embryos that made it. So, as all good gamblers do, I’m quitting while I’m ahead. I have two little girls, and I am thankful.
The issue of infertility is super sensitive, even when you’ve experienced it. I’ve been through the heartache, the pain, the waiting; but I still don’t really know how to support my friends who are going through infertility now. That sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it?
It depended what day you caught me on, whether I wanted to be asked how things were going, or not. So, I find myself not saying anything, and maybe I should be saying more.
Wanting to become a mother or wishing to have another child are very strong feelings, at least they were for me from my experience. And, when you feel constant rejection and no answers, it takes a really strong person to always keep their cool in social situations.
I admit. I’ve lost it at times. Maybe not in the middle of conversations about babies, but shortly after, etc.
One of the things I had to stop during the tough times was volunteering to make meals for the new moms in my MOMS club. I like to cook, and I like helping people out, but I started getting more and more sensitive to all things baby when I couldn’t get pregnant. So, I chose to stop, but now, I am happy to say that I’m looking forward to cooking again!
I wish I could provide all the answers about coping or about helping friends cope with infertility because I’ve been through it, but I can’t. One thing I can say is that having friends check in with me, especially through e-mails (so, I wasn’t put on the spot) helped me a lot, but every woman is different.
I plan to make sure I never forget how lucky we are to have conceived our daughters. And, I am enjoying being the mother of a newborn again. But, the journey to get there this time has made me a whole new person. The journey made me more thankful for the things that I take for granted. And, I appreciate the little girls that I have even more for it (if that is at all even possible).
My fertility journey had a happy ending, the birth of my daughter. But, I won’t stop wishing for more happy endings for couples out there who are trying to conceive.
Photo credit to Limaoscarjuliet.