With the supposed discovery of Ohpiuchus, a new sign of the zodiac, throwing off some people’s insane preoccupation with character traits and how they differ or resemble others’, I reflected upon how little this changes humankind and my family of Aries, Aquarius, Taurus and Gemini. Apologetically, I sheepishly admit to checking my horoscope almost daily. Maybe I’m crazy to ponder a prediction fashioned from imagination and not premonition, but no matter how false and broad the horoscope appears, the possibilities brought up by one slowly trail behind me after it’s read.
Really, it’s pretty improbable to believe that just because your birthday falls during a certain part of the year that you’re destined to be both rewarded and punished for it. How could billions of human beings around the globe with incredibly diverse backgrounds and personalities appear the same each day, month or year? Are they unconsciously psychically connected by the zodiac lacing of stars?
Only now can I reveal my secret.
Back when I was in college, a close friend and I couldn’t resist the unique and karmic opportunity to write the horoscopes for our college newspaper. If I recall correctly, Madame Cassandra or whatever she was called, was graduating, and the editor-in-chief wanted a new volunteer to write them, so my friend and I volunteered. Both English majors eager to express our creativity, we started writing horoscopes for the rest of our college careers.
First, we needed a catchy pseudonym to let the readers know they would be offered a glimpse into their future, but that we weren’t totally serious. In one of our dorm rooms, we started shouting out all kinds of mystical names like the $20,000 Pyramid game show gone awry. Somehow, like we tapped into our own personal psychic powers, the Psycho Swamis were born. (Quite possibly under the sign of Libra which as you may know is a very balanced sign using weights as their iconic symbol.)
Each week armed with pens and notebooks, we sank into the dank brown couch found in the messy newspaper office where who knew how many students developed and wrote campus articles or connected to each other’s star signs or whatever else. Maybe we could tap in to the many people who shared the couch, leaving behind their own signature astrological characteristics. But did we want to sense what graphic behavior may have occurred between the smelly, velour-covered cushions?
One person would write down our ideas; the other would dictate what surprises were in store for Capricorn or Pisces that week. Luckily, our ideas flowed freely due to our secret weapon: our friends! Unbeknownst to them, at first, we discussed whatever issues were happening in our friends’ lives, whether it be money trouble, relationship conundrums, or as a means to encourage or dissuade them from traveling through a forked path in their lives. After a few weeks of writing them, our friends caught on to the fact that we specifically targeted their sign’s horoscopes and their personal lives. No one we knew seemed unappreciative or disgusted when the Psycho Swamis offered guidance or caution.
Both of us were relatively quiet people with mostly uneventful personal lives, peppered by the occasional exciting or exasperating moment wont to all college students of a certain age. The newspaper editors kept our identity under wraps, so it thrilled us to silently observe other students reading and complaining or cheering about their horoscopes that we knew were created by us and not by charting the stars up above. While I frequently read mine in other publications with a cynical yet hopeful air, my friend was very involved in her church and pretty religious, so she deemed writing them as simply another creative endeavor. As for this Aquarius and Gemini, our star signs and cosmic identities remained as nebulous as a dark evening sky.
Strangely enough, writing the horoscopes didn’t deaden my desire to read other astrologers’ predictions for me. I still turn to the horoscopes in a magazine or pull up an astrology web page, hoping for advice regarding my life to pop up like a newly created star. My only conclusion is that, whether or not astrology ever becomes a bona-fide science (ahem…not likely) and Ohpiuchus truly upends the world, they offer the simple, yet soulful things we need: inspiration, hope and guidance. In a world where joy can quickly be replaced by sorrow or anger, we want reassurance that whatever decision we plan to make is right. Horoscopes don’t dictate the events in our lives, but they cause us to reflect on life already made or on the horizon. Now…what’s in store for Aquarius?
This is an original post for Jersey Moms Blog by M.B. Sanok, a New Jersey mom.
Photo credit given to Love Astrology.