Last week I was watching the season premiere of Parenthood and Lauren Graham’s character was so annoyed by her teenage son’s inability to locate his shoes that her frustration led to a brilliant idea. Why not invent a pair of shoes with a beeping device that’s activated by remote control so any time your shoes are lost all you have to do is click the button on the remote and you’ll be able to find them in no time? It’s a very cool concept and I hope someone besides the fictional Braverman family puts the wheels in motion so I can re-shoe the whole family before the end of the year.
The shoe idea got me thinking (who says TV is a waste of time?) about what inventions would help me better manage life with my three boys. What could every mom use that no one has thought to invent yet? Future inventors of the world, this post is for you. Pay close attention and you’ll make your first million in no time. The first is, without a doubt, the automatic whine eliminator. The way I envision it, the device is small enough to fit into the ear. The technology should be simple to develop. All you have to do is follow the steps to engineer a hearing aid and then do exactly the opposite. As soon as you see the nose crinkle and the brow furrow, switch on the whine eliminator and enjoy a serene moment until one of the following happens: 1. The whining eventually stops on its own; or 2. Your husband deals with it.
Next would be mom repeater, a surround-sound speaker system that automatically repeats the last thing you said if no movement is sensed in the area. For example, you told the kids to clear their breakfast dishes but they’re still goofing off at the table despite the fact that you have less than 10 minutes to get them to school, the mom repeater knows that no one has gotten up so it automatically repeats your request, but a bit louder the second time around. Kids still not moving? The mom repeater has it covered because on the third pass it kicks into yelling mode, just like a real mom! The best part is that all this is going on while mom’s upstairs getting herself ready for the day. Say good-bye to the ponytail at work, mom, because with all the time you’re saving not yelling at the kids you can actually take a minute to blow dry your hair! Within days you might even start applying mascara again!
Finally, I’d like to get my hands on a time machine that allows me to rewind the 2 hours I get “to myself” after the boys are asleep. I’d spend the first two hours doing my usual chores (dishes, laundry, lunches, etc.) then I’d rewind and spend the next two hours doing what I really want to do, catch up on the trashy reality TV shows clogging my DVR which is read a good book of course.
So there you have it, smart inventor people. You don’t even have to pay me for my brilliant ideas. Just send me a few prototypes for free and we’ll call it even.
This is an original post to the Jersey Moms Blog by FitsNGiggles.
Photo credit given to papky.com.