I have a full-time job and three sons age six and under. As an only child raised by a single mom, I always knew that I wanted a large family. As a teenager I used to joke that I’d have four sons and they’d all adore me. The older and wiser version of me has decided to stop at three and settle for the kids tolerating me most days. I’ve become a realist in my 30s.
All throughout high school I worked incredibly hard to get into a good college despite the fact that we had no money, and somehow my mother and grandmother managed to cover most of the cost of my $100k private university education. My goal was to use that expensive degree to my advantage and find something I’d love to do for the rest of my life and have a family too. I wanted it all.
Through a series of incredibly fortunate events I found a great job working for a company that allows the flexibility I need so I don’t have to choose between career and family. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming.
Did I mention that I’ve been married for eight years to a man who cleans? For real. He even does windows.
Everything I’ve ever wanted in life is happening right before my eyes: three healthy kids, great job, husband who cleans . . . life is pretty damn good.
Except . . .
I CRAVE BOREDOM!
I crave boredom like a crackhead craves the pipe. I crave boredom like a fat kid craves Twinkies. I crave boredom like a pregnant lady craves artichokes with ranch dressing (is that just me?). I crave boredom with such passion, if I read a Facebook status that even alludes to the fact that someone might have too much leisure time on their hands, (i.e. “Just watched season 3 of Mad Men in one sitting. Boy is that Don Draper a rascal.”) I fly into an envious rage.
You see, moms don’t get bored. We lost that right as soon as that precious little bundle of joy we spawned took that first breath. It doesn’t matter if you go to work or stay at home, there’s always something that needs to be done. Dishes, laundry, baths, groceries, cleaning, lunches, bottles . . . the list goes on and on. And if you dare to postpone your list of chores to catch up on your favorite TV show (because we all know reading a book is out of the question), you’ll pay for it big time because if you go just one day without doing laundry that dirty pile grows tenfold. It may defy every law of physics, bit it happens and you know it!
So what’s an overworked mom to do (besides unfriending everyone on Facebook without young kids)? I’d love to end this post with some wistful advice and a quirky comment, but I’m at a loss because the time I spent writing this post tonight means I’ll be getting up at least an hour earlier tomorrow to check off the list of things that need to get done before the boys wake up.
This is the life I chose–the life I always knew I wanted. And it’s a good life. But it would be a hell of a lot better if I had a staff of servants to take care of the endless list of mundane crap I have to deal with day after day (and who agree to get paid in compliments). Hey, a mom can dream!